Confessions of a Condiment Slut

What does a tray of homemade gnocchi have to do with my confession as a condiment slut?  It makes perfect sense to me, so let me try to explain.

Far more than spring cleaning, I am trying to get the house in order.  Living on just one floor for the last 6 months has forced us to really evaluate what we need to live and what is the best way for 4 people and two dogs to live in 1000 square feet.  In the winter.  As my return to work looms I thought it was time to tackle a few things like the closets and the kitchen.  Enter The Kitchn Cure.  Fantastic, a very public way to force me to actually do the work.  And to ensure I really stick to it I am promising to report it all here, once a week for the next 6 weeks.

Pantry before

It actually hasn't been that long since I cleaned out the fridge and the pantry - this week's assignment.  When I am upset about something I clean.  I think Hubby and I had a major domestic fueled my pregnancy hormones, or maybe it was nesting?  So it's been a year... not too long.  But this time I took a closer look at what was actually in there and filled a garbage can, the recycling bin, and a bag for the Foodbank.

It is no secret that I have a tendency to hoard condiments.  Fancy mustards, barbecue sauce, fruity vinegars, jams, honey, hot sauce, and even salad dressings all have a special place in my heart, fridge, and pantry.  When I travel my souvenirs are either cookbooks or food.  As a thirtysomething married chick I don't bring home tropical diseases or naughty memories of strangers, I bring home Texas 1015 Onion Dressing and Jerk Sauce.  And all that baggage was sitting in my house.  Seriously, I had salad dressing in the fridge from a trip to Texas 9 years ago and I've moved it three times.  I was carrying it around like an STD.

Pantry after

While I'm not sure I will cure myself of my condiment obsession, I was rather ruthless in culling the scores of sauces taking up space and not inspiring anything tasty.  Just like the women's mags will tell you when cleaning your closet - if you haven't used it the last 6 months it's time for it to go.  That seemed generous even, so I applied a two month rule.  Surprisingly, I haven't used a lot of stuff in the last two months.

Gone was the hoisin sauce (I never know what to do with it), jerk sauce, three open bottles of three different barbecue sauces, about 4 bottles of salad dressing with just an inch left inside, cream of wheat, expired cans of sweetened condensed milk, and even a can of alligator meat I bought at my brother's wedding in New Orleans.  His wedding was 9 years ago.

Fridge before

Our fridge is only 3 years old and Hubby has been complaining that it is too small.  It is not a small fridge, it was just filled with condiments.  I knew it was bad, but the pile of crap on the counter was ridiculous.  Did I really need ten bottle of salad dressing when we Hubby only ever wants Golden Italian?  Why do I have all that barbecue sauce when CattleBoyz is the best stuff on earth?

There was never any room for leftovers.  And when they did make it in the fridge they always got lost and I would end up throwing out a bunch of food.  Oh yeah, I forgot that cheese sauce was there. Damn, I could have made mac and cheese for dinner last night.  Crap, I could have had that for lunch the other day.  What a bloody waste.

Fridge After

Now there is a dedicated shelf for leftovers.  And another one for all the blessed cottage cheese we go through (over 2 litres a week).  Our three different kinds of milk actually can fit.  Oh, and the fridge will close without any extra hip action.  Most importantly, Hubby might actually be able to find something if he opens the fridge door.  I think he fantasizes about a fridge that is about 6 inches deep and the length of the wall - that way everything is in the front row.

So this condiment slut decided to actually make use of her leftovers when culling the condiments.  Easter dinner's mashed potatoes became gnocchi for dinner.  And I pulled out some braised short ribs from the freezer to serve as the sauce. It's almost worth making extra potatoes just to make these.  Light, little dumplings that Smilosaurus devoured and The Monster spat out.  She's always hated potatoes.  At least I know where the leftovers will be.

Leftover Potatoes Gnocchi

(serves 4)

3 cups mashed potatoes (already loaded with cream, butter, and seasoned)

1 beaten egg

3/4 - 1 cup flour

1-2 ounces grated parmesan

1.  Mix all ingredients together to make a soft dough.

2.  Roll dough into a long rope, about an inch thick.  Cut off one inch pieces.  You can roll them over a fork for the traditional look or just leave them.

3.  Refrigerate or freeze on a floured tray.  Cook in a pot of boiling water until the float to the surface.

Wonderful served with a nice meat sauce, braised short ribs, brown butter, cream sauce with lobster, and so much more.