25 April, 2011


When my father-in-law died seven years ago and we used a lot of humor to cope with our grief we would joke that we could say, "My Dad just died," and get what we wanted in any negotiation or to get out of something we didn't want to do. My girls are already picking up on this and when they cry because I won't let them have another Mini Egg they scream, "I'm just sad because Dido died." I can't help but laugh, then still refuse to give them another chocolate. I need to accept their own process of grieving and settling back home, but that includes losing the bad diet of our time away. Besides, Mama needs those Mini Eggs.

My Dad died and we buried him last week. After nearly 2 months of not being at home, of daily trips to the hospital, of more candy that I thought possible, of captured meals, of the chaos of 6 little cousins getting together more than they ever have before, of the comfort of cookie it is time to get back to a routine.

There is a lot to be said for routine and kids.

To be honest, though, I used to scoff at the parenting advice that practically shouted out the value of ROUTINE! for kids. Most kids are resilient and adaptable. Not all, but most. And I certainly didn't want to become a slave to my kids routine. Wake. Eat. Play. Sleep. Repeat.

Right now, though, we're craving routine.

We watch PBS Kids while we eat our bread with butter and honey, as we do every single morning. (Okay, so they did this at my parents' place every morning too.) Now we can stay in our pajamas longer. We can soak in the sun streaming through the windows. We can pet our dogs. We can peek out the front window and spy on the neighbours. We are home.

So long as there is bread, butter, and honey we can eat. We can be boring and routine.


Tara said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, Cheryl. :(

Miriam in KS said...

I am sorry for your loss. (But I am still glad you got to spend the time you did with him at the end of his life.)

Unknown said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. Perhaps someday the time your family spent together in these last days will be remembered as a little more sweet, and a little less bitter.

Jennie said...

Cheryl, I'm so sorry honey. After the last few months, a little routine sounds like the perfect prescription for your family.

merry jennifer said...

I'm so sorry about your dad, Cheryl. Routine is definitely what you need. I know it's what I crave when life gets messy. *hugs*

Aimée said...

I'm really glad you are home now, Cheryl. We are very sorry for your loss.

Laundry is a household task I loath, but when Mateo was sick last year and we were in the hospital, I would daydream about just being home and folding laundry. Normal stuff. Thanks for the reminder not to take it for granted.